What Men Want in Life

Jesus was a man

Mohammad was a man.

The Buddha was a man

Lord Krishna was a man.

What Great Men wanted?

Jesus wanted us to love our enemy.

Mohammad wanted us to submit to the Allah.

The Buddha wanted us to break the chain of birth and rebirth.

Lord Krishna wanted us to perform good Karma.

Greek Philosopher Heraclitus (c. 540-480 BC) compared man to beast, drunkards, deep sleepers and children. He said, “Their opinions are like toys because they do not grasp the truth.” According to Heraclitus, man’s character is his fate.

Since the time immemorial, man has contemplated about man. When I say man, I specifically mean man.

What men want – well known men speak!

Greek philosopher Plato (427-347 BC) said, “Thank God, I was not born a slave, or a woman.”

Viktor E. Frankl (1905-1997), Austrian Professor of Neurology and Psychiatry and the author of Man’s Search For Meaning, said, “Man must have meaning in his life.”

George Bush said, “I want to smoke Taliban out of their hiding holes.”

Baburam Bhattarai, current Prime Minister of Nepal, said, “I want to establish Communism in Nepal.”

Gynanendra Shah, the last king of Nepal, said, “All I wanted was to relegate the inefficient democratic parties and end communist terrorism in Nepal.”

Francois Hollande, recently elected French President, wants to give his girlfriend the status of First Lady without marrying her.

The men who took part in the survey live in:

Nepal, India, Pakistan, United Kingdom, United States, Philippines, Thailand, Maldives

The survey was conducted by using social media, phone calls, email, and direct interview.

To find out the answers to the question what men want, I carried a survey and asked men what they want?

The age of the men who participated in the survey ranged from 18 to 86 years, they came from different cultures and country, they were highly educated, and also with no formal education. Some of the participants were professors, and some were just High School students.

Two hundred men participated in the survey. Below are some of the answers from the survey titled “What men want?”

They answered the question: what do you want (in life)?

I’m heavily indebted to:

Safa Fathmath, in Maldives, for her help in the survey

Jeebesh Rayamajhi, in Kathmandu, for providing relevant photographs

Smilio Aguinaldo, in Manila, Philippines, for being one of the surveyors

Ananda Chao in Bangkok, Thailand, for being a great help

And all the men who responded to the question

As a man I often ponder into a question what I want. Answers that occur to me can be subtle such as make a difference in the world, or mundane such as I want the article – I recently submitted to a newspaper – to get published.

Sometimes I clearly see what I want, and sometimes I cannot figure out what truly matters in my life. I write, I love doing photography. But what I really want?

When I did a keyword research, I found “what men want” has a low competition. What men want is little vague question, perhaps, what men want in women/girlfriend/wife/bed/relationship and such more could be appropriate question to ask, because men seem to be wanting lots of things.

Sanjay Ghimire (25)

Restaurant owner; from Kathmandu, Nepal

I want to do well with my business.

Jeebesh Rayamajhi (35)

Editor, Yes Magazine; from Kathmandu, Nepal

I want to remain busy. When I'm busy my mind does not worry about pain, suffering and fulfillment.

Dwaipayan Regmi

Student; from Patan, Nepal

I want happiness, and satisfaction.

Bikram Tandan (20)

Student; from Gulmi, Nepal

I want to become a lawyer because in my society lawyers are respected.

Maila Chaudhari (22)

Migrant laborer in Malaysia, no formal education; from Dang, Nepal

I want to earn money so that I can have my own house and a patch of farmland.

Hunbbel Meer

Writer; from Karachi, Pakistan

Peace and love in world. The harmony around us. Value of human beings. A happy family and compassion.

Rajan Singh Jolly,

Writer; from Jalandhar, India

To have the resources to be able to alleviate suffering of fellow human beings. To have peace in the world. To be of use to those in need.

Erwin Thomas

Retired Professor of Mass Communications and Journalism (Norfolk State University in Virginia); from Virginia Beach, Virginia.

Insight, understanding and material independence are my choices.

Mohan Lal Adhikari, (86)

Retired Lawyer, from Dang, Nepal

I have performed all my duties, now I want to die peacefully.

Balu Thapa

Lecturer, Tribhuvan University; from Tansen, Nepal

I guess I want to be capable of expressing myself in a creative way, particularly in fiction.

Steve Mitchell

Writer/Blogger/Store Manager; from Leeds, UK

I want to become financially independent and be able to help others as a result of this. In other words I want freedom. Freedom of choice whether I have to work or not have to work.

Wahaab Gasim (44)

A shop owner, from Maldives

I want to succeed in life.

Haisham Firaaq (22)

Student, Maldives University, from Maldives

I want to achieve my goals. (Become an electrician and get married to my sweetheart).

Naazir Ali (39)

Fisherman, no formal education; from Maldives

I want my children (one girl and three boys studying in Island school) to have a good education.

Prakash Subedi

Lecturer, Tribhuvan University, from Chitwan, Nepal

I would want to explore my ultimate potential, and help others in doing that.

JS Matthew

Freelance Writer; from Massachusetts, USA

I want in life: peace, happiness, love, respect and friendship. I want to live long and learn along the way.

Mariano Zamora (18)

Flower seller; from Quezon City, Philippines

I want to go to the United States and study, work, and earn money.

Damrong Rajanubhab (19)

Waiter; from Bangkok, Thailand

I want to open a restaurant near Future Park.

In the survey, the men were not given an opportunity to choose an answer from multiple options. Actually they had freedom to express whatever they wanted. Most of the answers were related to career goals, success, love, happiness, material gains etc. In order to create statistics, the responses were broken into different categories, such as success, love, freedom, peace etc. Men also said they want happiness, success and satisfaction at the same time. So, different categories were created to reflect the mind of the men, who wanted different things at the same time.

Out of 200, 29 men (14.5%) wanted material gains, and 5 men (2.5%) wanted to devote their time in philanthropy. These two are the highest and lowest points in the statistics. Success, satisfaction and happiness mattered in most of the men’s life. That’s why 21 men (10.5%) wanted to succeed in life and for 23 men (11.5%) satisfaction mattered more than anything else. Men also wanted to be happy, out of 200 men, 17 (8.5%) said they want happiness. Success, satisfaction and happiness all mattered for 13.5% (27) of the men.

Young men cared about career goals, 10.5% (21) of men gave preference for developing career, 4% (8) wanted freedom, and 9% (18) wanted peace. Men did not give much preference for love, only 6.5% (13) said they care for love. Interestingly, 9% men (18) wanted love and peace at the same time. Maybe that was because when in relationship, conflicts tend to arise very easily, so the men wanted love and remain at peace.

It has always been said men want power, money and women. However, not a single man who participated in the survey directly said that, even though they were dating two girls at the same time, or were obsessed with money making. I have found, the men who strive for power did not admit they want to exercise power.

Actually there is no conclusion, and there can be no conclusion. We cannot generalize what a man wants. It differs according to the culture he belongs to, the country he lives in, his experience, and level of intelligence and education.

After reading the responses, you might be wondering, what the surveyor really wants. You can read my response here.

There is this beautiful legend regarding what women want.

Long-long ago there live a king called Arthur. One day he was captured by a neighboring king. The captor offered life and freedom to Arthur if he answered what women want. Arthur returned to his kingdom and asked the question to everyone he came across; however, the responses did not satiate Arthur. Finally he went to an old witch. She agreed to answer but asked Arthur, as the payment of her answer, to help her get married to his closest friend and knight Lancelot.

The witch was hideous, so Arthur dropped her proposal. However, when Lancelot knew about this he agreed to marry her.

On the night of wedding, the witch asked Lancelot a question: Do you want me to be beautiful in the day and hideous in the night, or hideous in the day and beautiful in the night?

Lancelot said he will let her decide for herself. Lancelot did not know he had an answer for Arthur’s question.

Upon hearing Lancelot, the witch said, she will always remain beautiful.

What a woman wants is to be in charge of her own life.